In his article “Playing Favorites” written in the October 3rd 2011 issue of Time Magazine, Jeffrey Kluger explains how parents actually do have a favorite child, and the negative effects that favoritism has on the children and family. Most parents claim that they do not have a favorite, but the parents are only keeping that information a secret. A study conducted by Catherine Conger, who is a professor of human and community development at the University of California, concluded that 60% of mothers and 70% of fathers reveal that they do have a favorite child. The act of favoritism in a parent towards a particular child may cause long term problems in the family; the act of favoritism may also negatively affect the children’s minds. Often times, the favored child is the firstborn because parents will spend more quality time with the firstborn child. A Norwegian study conducted in 2007 presented that firstborns have a 3-point IQ higher than later siblings. Favored children who know that they’re the favorite may often feel guilt, and be mistreated by his or her siblings who also know the “truth” about who’s the favorite. Parents who neglect a child may cause the neglected child to grow up with psychological scars. An example of someone who has dealt with this sort of psychological scarring is Charles Dickens. Even though Charles Dickens is famous and wealthy nowadays, he still experiences times where he is reminded of his gloomy past where he undergone his parent’s favoritism towards his older sister. Children who feel less loved are at a higher risk of developing low self-esteem, depression, and anxiety. Luckily, favoritism often fades when the children grow older.
I always had a hint that this was an issue for a lot of families. Most often I would believe that parents are telling the truth when they state that they love all their children equally. But this article has made me a bit more skeptical about that statement. I do not want to be a parent of more than one child. I know that if I were to have more than one child then I would favor the child who makes me more proud. Even though having a favorite is bad in many aspects, I am acknowledging that I would have a favorite before I even have children. By acknowledging this fact about myself ahead of time, I can determine whether or not it would be smart to have more than one child. I believe many people who are about to start a family should think about this matter like how I did. They should determine whether or not they can give every child an equal amount of love and support. Instead of favoring a child for everything that they are, parents should favor something about each and every child. For instance, the father could favor the son for his musical abilities and favor the daughter for her singing abilities. The favoritism should be balanced with that sort of a system. It is tremendously important for equality to be met in families.
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